Lars and the Real Girl: Before...

If anyone reading these words has previously been subjected to my film reviews, you might have noticed a slightly worn thread of feminist thought woven throughout. This time is no exception.

I am just over an hour shy of my first viewing of "Lars and the Real Girl," a film I have avoided since its 2007 release. I am going at the behest of my sister in law, a fan of the film and a very convincing one at that.

I remember seeing the preview for the first time...Ryan Gosling in shabby-chic (not the Rachel Ashwell sort...the Rivers Cuomo sort) cardigan and glasses...introverted and weird, yet still sexy. So this guy is so desperate for a woman that he latches onto a real doll? The kind that I have seen on late-night HBO sex shows where creepy basement-dwellers twiddle a rubber clitoris to elicit the doll's robotically shuddering orgasm? It's just one knife shy of Buffalo Bill.

Moving on...then the preview introduces the big-hearted quirky family and townspeople who, although concerned about Ryan Gosling's delusion, just want to make him (and his "girlfriend") feel accepted.

"Welcome, Rubber Doll! Nice fishnets!"

Now...I'm told by previously mentioned sister-in-law that this is the whole point...that real girls are better than rubber dolls.

I don't know where to begin.

1. There is something strangely reminiscent of Tiger Beat heartthrob publicity in this film/message. Ryan Gosling is a sex symbol. Girls dream about him. Girls who are plain and live a million miles away want to be with him. So his portrayal of a man who goes from plastic Playboy sex doll to one who realizes that women with brains are more his type reminds me of Jonathan Brandis saying he likes girls who can "pig out on a cheeseburger," causing millions of prepubescent girls to gain 5 pounds of hope.

2. I can't stand that simpering anorexic Emily Mortimer. She's one of those "method actors," and I can just see her bursting with pride in her big burgundy sweater as she exercises her way into the role of a Midwestern townie.

3. I have to go watch this now...more to come